The Last Number

Fred had died and gone to heaven. He had suffered a sudden heart attack and awoke in a room.

"Is this heaven?" he asked.

"Yes," replied the lady in the tidy suit. "Please take this card and go to this address."

She opened the door and let him out into a busy street full of people. An overhead sign asked: Want to become an Angel? Sign up and take the course. Everyone welcome!

He walked past a shop window. There were people looking at screens.

"Watch what's going on back on Earth. Want to follow a loved one? Sign up for a 12 month contract. Only 24.99 a month," said an ad.

An old man sat on the street. He was badly shaven. Around his neck was a sign. "Help A Fallen Angel." Passers by dropped some money into his cup.

Fred entered the building on the card and took an elevator.

A newspaper headline was displayed on a monitor. "High level Angel Corruption Revealed! Click here!! Only one Buck."

The elevator opened.

He sat in the waiting room for a small while and then went in.

There were pictures of Rich and famous angels.

A lady sat opposite him and took the card.

"So you just got in?" she said.

Jim nodded.

"You got any questions?"

Jim nodded. "This isn't a trick is it? This is really heaven? I'm not in Hell am I?"

The lady nodded. "Hell no!" She sipped her coffee. "Anything else?"

"Are you an angel?"

She chuckled some more.

"If I had a dime for everyone who asked me that, I'd be as rich as an Angel."

"So why am I here?" asked Fred.

"I'm your unemployment officer," she explained. "I need to find you somewhere to live. These are your food stamps. I have some emergency accommodation lined up for you with some of your old friends. Now you have a nice day!" She gave him another set of directions. "Next!" she shouted.