The Alien IMF

Spood Mugar came rushing into the room of his boss Huuf Urght who was head of the Alien International Monetary Bailout Fund.

"Emergency!" said Spood.

"What now," sighed Huuf.

Huuf looked up from his puzzle and covered it over.

"Is it the Earth again?" said Huuf.

Spood nodded.

"Why did we ever allow them to join the Collective!  They should never have been allowed to join!  What do they want now?"

Spood waved his tentacles.  "They want another bailout."

"Another one?  What happened to the last one?"

"They spent it Huuf," said Spood.

"They need it immediately otherwise they won't be able to pay their government employees."

Huuf sighed.  "Don't they know that money doesn't really exist?  It's just a measure of confidence?"

"I keep telling them to be more confident Huuf but they're panicking."

"How much do they want this time?"

"A trillion bazillion."

"Don't they realize it's just colored paper?  They used to back it up with a heavy metal once but they don't do it any more.  What was it called?"

"They call it Gold, your high Huufness," said Spood.

"At least it was based on something once but now it's just colored paper," said Huuf.  "I really hate this job.  Those humans are simply crazy, I tell you."

"I know Huuf but they need an answer fast.  There is unemployment and riots!  Shops are being looted."

"All right, all right!  Tell them we will bail them out again and make up some interest number, add some decimal places to make them think it means something important.  Begin the printing presses again.  Then send them the paper."

"As you wish," said Spood.

Huuf went back to his puzzle.  "Hmh.  Humans," said Huuf.