Internal Affairs

Jack took his car home after seeing Mel his mistress.  She kissed him good night and he drove home through the forest.

His cell phone rang.  His wife rang wondering where he was and what was taking so long.  "No, no baby.  I'm on my way home," said Jack smoothly.  "The game of poker with the guys ran over, that's all."

He clicked off and smoked some more in the car to mask Mel's smell.

Ahead of him he saw what looked like a bright star in the sky.

Suddenly, his car stalled, losing power.

"Goddammit," said Jack.  He blinked and then his body froze.

On board the Reticulun research vessel, Jack lay out stretched.  Two Ret officers had been assigned to pick a research candidate and draw up a report.

"Engage the probe," said Wulfd.

Zessan nodded and pressed a button.

However the probe did not work.

"Engage the probe!" shouted Wulfd in Zessan's mind.

"The probe is not functioning."

"You were assigned the task of testing it before our mission."  Wulfd pointed accusingly.

"It was your task.  I do not report into you."  Zessan stood up to him.

"I am from the Maja Caverns.  Do not address me like that you low ranking pond scum!!"  Wulfd threw the tester at Zessan.  "Test!!"

However Zessan threw it back at Wulfd.  "YOU TEST!"

They moved close to each other.  "You are the dropping of your fathers eggs!" said Zessan.

Wulfd pulled his weapon.  "Withdraw your insult or I will send you back as egg spawn."

"They told me you were unstable.  Reject!" shouted Zessan.  He grabbed Wulfd's arm but a shot was unleashed which struck the control cable inside the craft and it began to spin crazily out of control towards the ground.

A bright explosive flash lit up the forest.

When Jack finally opened his eyes he screamed out.  Military men in environment suit were examining him.  He looked to his left and then his right at the two dead aliens.  He was unable to move.

"Who do you work for?" shouted the military officer in the uniform.  "Why were you sent to Earth!  What was your mission?  Are you planning to invade the Earth!?"

"I'm Jack.  I come from Hudson," said Jack feebly.  "Can someone please get me some pants?"